Diane Hancox

World Views

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Deepening into Your Covid-19 Experience

I sincerely hope you are all doing the best you can, handling any challenges with awareness and strength, and continue to deepen into what is ‘up’ for you and others.   

Let me start by acknowledging that although ‘we are all in this together,’ each of us is experiencing the pandemic along a wide range of situations. Some are financially unaffected while others are at risk of losing property and businesses.  Some are deeply concerned about high-risk loved ones or have even felt the loss of someone, while others have not been directly touched. While some may be savouring the increased time at home, others are at increased risk of intimate partner abuse, addictive behaviour and mental illness.

From my observations, it is clear that as our routines are altered and distractions reduced, whatever was bothering us before is now most likely staring us in the face.  Even if we find our lives busier (e.g., children/partner now at home), we lose that precious self-care time so necessary to keep any issues at bay or managed.

What is coming up for you?   Financial insecurity, unhealthy relationships, anxiety, depression, lack of meaning, boredom, anger, or perhaps the fear of death of others or of self.  Is anything really new for you in the discomfort?

Behind any discomfort lie our psyche’s complexes (those bundles of familiar historic emotions and beliefs) that beg for our attention – for change – in order to lessen our suffering. Here is an opportunity to sit with the uneasiness (on whatever level). Can we meet ourselves?

The pandemic beckons introversion – a conscious turning inward, with increased awareness of our feelings and thoughts. Then, with willingness and honesty, with courage and humility you can do the necessary work of putting your inner house in order.  

There will be losses.   For some, there already has been loss of wages, property, relationships, meaningful work and activities, and dreams.  Even if the losses are temporary or will inevitably come in the future, this is grief work. 

Hope and expectations have been shattered and we are more than a little ticked off!  It is important to name what is lost – the void – and feel your feelings and honest thoughts around them.  

It is not necessarily about what is lost but what feelings and beliefs they bring up in you. Statements emerge such as, “This isn’t fair!  This isn’t what I had planned!   Now what will I do?  Who am I if I can’t ______?”   Now we get closer to some core issues. Explore these statements and queries. Indeed, life isn’t fair.  And, you are more than what your job is or what you have in your bank account. 

Transitioning Self &Society      Part of the introversion requires us to clarify our wants, values, purpose, what brings us meaning and what matters most. Here is where some are recognizing any ‘silver linings’ in all this.

We see in self and others an increase in patience, being supportive, recognizing our interdependence, a healing Gaia, and a balancing of masculine and feminine principles. What are your ‘silver linings’ (if any)?   What have you learned?   What do you want to remember as you move forward?
 
Similar to facing our own ‘stuff,’ there is also the exposure, perhaps like never before, of political, societal and collective (they are all the same to some degree) cracks or shadow material. Treatment of certain sectors and populations, wage inequities, how we act in shopping lines, the comments slipped out about ‘them,’ etc. are in the spotlight, with energy (media coverage, funding) being placed upon this other side of human behaviour, with transformation already happening.

Jungian Murray Stein, in a recent interview, images an “Umbra Mundi” – a world shadow hovering over the globe.  In alchemical terms it is nigredo – a process in which all ingredients have to be cleansed and cooked extensively to a uniform black matter before any transformation can occur. 

Like the newly exposed silver linings, it will take personal and collective perseverance to prevent any dimming of the spotlight or tarnishing of lining insights, changes and progress made to date.

We talk about the ‘new normal,’ how it already feels better in some ways, yet, will you (society, government) sustain these insights?   Will the supportiveness to others, less spending, enjoying our morning coffee at home, etc. go back to business as usual?  Remember that ‘normal’ does not equate to healthy or functional.  What might Ego be resisting as this ‘new normal’ unfolds (even if temporary)?

And why might we be so sad?  [I’m seeing this a lot!]
Most often current loss touches upon past losses evoking memories (flashbacks) accompanied by their associated feelings and cognitions. This stirring, often unconscious, often amplifies and distorts the current grief – a grief bundle may form.  Thus, it is important to sort out what specific loss one is grieving in the moment and what feelings one is actually feeling.  Often there are unresolved feelings (guilt, anger, resentment) and thoughts (“I should have done more” or “I was so stupid!”) with these past losses/decisions that may or may not coincide with the current grief. 

Trauma Response   And, while we are here, many of the losses, past and present, were and are traumatic, so in fact the pandemic may be re-traumatizing or traumatizing for some people.

The pandemic is invisible, universal, mysterious, and terrifying, with a component of lack of control. Does this remind you of any past situation?  Core trauma concerns of safety, helplessness and unpredictability, as well as victim energy may surface. We can change helplessness by being productive and doing what we can.  Unpredictability can be altered by setting schedules and adding structure to the day.

Watch for flight, fight or freeze behaviour – all natural and normal trauma responses. Anxiety and fear provoke anger, aggression, panic and paranoia.  We may dissociate by numbing, withdrawing, zoning out or being in denial.  Our aim is for emotional regulation or stability (staying in that window of tolerance) achieved by healthy and conscious means.
 
Whether stressed or traumatized, the key is to get grounded/calm and to stay grounded.  We calm both the body and the mind.  Breathing techniques, any type of meditation or mindfulness activity, stop thoughting, energy work, and moving the body need to be part of the daily routine.

Creativity also plays an important role in processing emotions – incorporate dance, singing, drumming, howling, play, writing, cooking, and art into your life.  Dosing these along with other self-care activities 12 times throughout your day is better than doing something for say 2 hrs and then believing “that’s it.”

To calm the mind.  It is helpful to recognize core issues (safety, control, scarcity, abandonment, not enough, victim, etc.) that are surfacing and have rational, ‘go to’ statements ready.  This can be as simple as, “I am safe, now.”   Or, “I’ll make the best of what money I have.”

Deepen into values, beliefs and virtues (acceptance, gratitude, kindness, integrity, service, etc.) with these statements.  These can then be part of daily intentions, prayer and meditation. Examples include:

  • “I am where I am because this is exactly where I am supposed to be (on this journey called life).”
  • “Even though I am feeling (anxious, overwhelmed, scared), I unconditionally love and accept myself.”  [This statement is from EFT tapping protocol.]
  • “In the worst case scenario, I will …  “
  • “I am grateful for …..”
  • “I trust that I will …”

We may not know where this pandemic will take us, yet each of us can decide how we are going to handle whatever comes. Some advice – “When one can see no future, all one can do is the next right thing.”  (Pabbie, in Frozen II)

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Mindfully Dealing with COVID-19

The consequences of the COVID-19 pandemic continue to impact our daily routines.  As we improve the  habits of physical/social distancing and diligent hand washing, we must also address what may be going on emotionally and psychologically.  In these unprecedented times we face change and uncertainty, which lead to varying degrees of increased stress, anxiety and even, fear.  

Fear (worry, anxiety) is the negative projection onto future events.  It comes from the mind wondering or obsessing about all the “What if’s …?” creating a stressful whirlwind of scenarios.

The work, then, is to stay in the present.  We accomplish this by mindfulness, awareness or consciousness and by using grounding or calming techniques.   We need to regulate both the body and the mind (thoughts).

Start with the Body   Do frequent check in’s or body scans.  Notice your breathing & heart rate starting to accelerate.  Are your picking your nails, zoned out, or talking or walking fast?  What to do:

  • Stop what you are doing (if not, then slow down).
  • Exhale …..  exhale …….    exhale …….     [find some ‘calm breathing exercises’]
  • Do some shoulder shrugs, arm circles, lean over your hips.

Then … Get your Mind On-Line     Now that your body is settling, you need to say something supportive and true (although a part of you may resist!).  This will be whatever you need at that moment depending upon what negative & false belief (“I’m doomed!”; “I’m all alone.”; “I’m helpless.”) you are dealing with.  Sometimes we need a few supportive statements!

E.g.  “I got this.”   “I am safe (now).”  “I can support myself (by ….) “   “I’m doing the best I can.”

Watch any sweeping or catastrophizing thoughts.   Work with any irrationalities.

E.g.  “I’ll lose everything.”    Or, “I’m helpless.”

Will you really lose everything?  Make a list of items, situations you may “lose” [some or most,  for now] (social outings, investments) and those you will still have (your sense of humor, favourite item, friends).

This pandemic brings uncertainly and lack of control.  Again, sort out what you do know (now) and do have control over.  Find the facts that you truly need to know and then turn off the news.  Keep it simple and stay in the present. 

To help with the ‘What if’s?’  – we don’t want to be stuck or looping in these – get them down on paper and flush them out as best you can. Change them to ‘Then what  …? ‘   And then, ‘In the meantime …’

E.g.  “What if I can’t work/money gets low?”  “Then I’ll  …..”    And so, “In the meantime I will …”

In this way, we move past the worrisome thought and shift into taking whatever action we can (for now).

Boundaries & Knowing Your Triggers

Besides the obvious physical boundaries we are all being asked to maintain, emotional and psychological ones need to be kept as well.  Our assertiveness skills will be needed here.   Knowing what triggers or adds to your discomfort is important – as is knowing what lessens your anxiety or helps boost your mood.   Some to watch for include:

  • the amount and sources of media
  • talking with people (topics talked about, negative/fear-based thoughts)
  • honouring your intentions, time for self, etc.

Feel Your Feelings!

Although we want to ‘be positive,’ and act with kindness, empathy and support, we also do not want to be in denial of our feelings.  If you are sad, cry; angry or frustrated, growl.  Lie down and take time to acknowledge what your body is feeling or holding and let it out. Accept and do not judge any feeling.

Try to identify what you are sad or angry (or …) about.  

What issue is “up”?   What is this emotion really about?   Many people will have core wounds surfacing on top of expected concerns and anxiety.   These could be … abandonment, helplessness, lack of control, victim, etc.

To some extent, we are all grieving.  We can be grieving for what we already have lost as well as experiencing anticipatory grief for what will most likely come (again, be mindful of any irrational projections).  On a deeper level, we are being asked to ‘let go’ (of certain beliefs, ego-based parts, etc.) and transform.  On that note…

The Role of Crisis and Adversity

We are experiencing personal and collective challenges.   Many people are recognizing the need to take the time now to:

  • Dig deep –  Identify what is ‘up’ in you?   
  • Change – “self-correct” (Marianne Williamson);  What is being asked of you?
  • Togetherness –  check-in with people, make amends, reconnect, sharing, helping
  • Connect to higher power/self –  clarifying values, who you are, purpose
  • Find sources of positive grounding leaders (e.g.,   Eckert Tolle, …)

We’ll end with some practical suggestions…

Watch your Habits & Up the Self-Care

  • During stressful times we often slip into our not-so-great coping mechanism, perhaps even introducing some new ones. Again, be mindful of these and take action now.  Watch coffee, alcohol, sweets/carbs, etc. intake and excessive time spent doing anything. 
  • Thus, keep your self-care routines going!  

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The Psychology of Pandemic

[Retrieved March 17, 2020 from:  https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2018/08/the-psychology-of-pandemics/?fbclid=IwAR3ecU9-PJWy5ZzNMTvXnqF4rseuzXq0xHrZ8Y6_z0yQ133pzOXM0bYsQDo]

Many of the most serious global threats today involve a high degree of uncertainty: will the next flu outbreak turn into a pandemic? By how many degrees will global temperatures increase this century? Limiting the damage of such threats hinges on human choices, like the decision to get vaccinated or cut back on energy use. But we humans are famously bad at making decisions in already uncertain conditions. How can unpredictable global threats be communicated to most effectively guide our decision-making?

Take the threat of a pandemic virus rapidly spreading around the globe. Pandemics have killed millions in the past and it’s likely another will eventually come – we just don’t know when. In the early stages of a pandemic, people would be asked to take actions to help limit its spread, unpleasant actions like getting a vaccine or giving up travel plans. How could the director-general of the World Health Organization, health ministers and medical professionals around the world motivate people to take costly but necessary actions to help limit the spread of the disease?

Past research suggests people are notoriously unwilling to make sacrifices for others when the benefits are uncertain. In the case of pandemics, this means people would be especially unlikely to spend time going to a clinic or cancel a vacation because it’s not guaranteed that such steps would help stop the spread of disease. Thus, the uncertainty inherent to infectious diseases provides the ideal conditions for their spread: risk-seeking decisions in social situations.

Our work, conducted as part of the Oxford Martin Programme on Collective Responsibility for Infectious Disease, shows that when people have to make decisions that might harm others, they tend to act as if things will work out just fine.

In some of our studies, for instance, we asked hundreds of people whether they would stay home from work when infected with the “African Flu” (a fictional disease), which would be costly for their career but would help limit the spread of disease. Sometimes, we highlighted that it was uncertain whether they would infect a co-worker if they went to work. This uncertainty made people less willing to sacrifice and stay home. Consistent with previous studies on uncertainty, people said they were willing to risk hurting someone else for their own benefit when the harm was not certain to occur.

Luckily, it turns out there is another, more effective way to communicate uncertain threats like infectious disease. When uncertainty about human welfare is emphasized – for example, how much others might suffer from an infection – people strive to prevent the worst-case scenario.

In our studies, when we highlighted the chance that going to work might infect either somebody young and healthy for whom the infection would be no problem or an elderly person for whom the infection could be very serious, our participants said they were more willing to sacrifice and stay home. In other words, directing people’s attention to the uncertain impact of their actions on the well-being of others made them more willing to take on costs to prevent others from potential harm.

Have you read?   (internal links from original website)

6 ways countries can prepare for the next infectious disease pandemic

We need a new global response to pandemics

Why we must learn to live with uncertainty

These findings highlight how journalists, global leaders and healthcare professionals can more effectively communicate the nature of uncertain but potentially devastating threats like pandemics. Often, when we talk about pandemics, we focus on whether or not one will occur in the near future and whether we are prepared to cope. The Economist, for example, recently remarked that “whether the world can forestall the next, unknown pandemic threat is uncertain”.

Our research suggests this approach may be counterproductive when it comes to motivating the costly, altruistic individual choices that may ultimately prove crucial for limiting the impact of a pandemic. Humans tend to put their self-interest first when it’s uncertain if doing so will cause harm.

But when the human costs of selfishness are made salient, people are more willing to forgo the personal and prioritize social interests, even amidst uncertainty. We think communicators should instead emphasize how selfish responses to global threats risk endangering the most vulnerable among us, such as babies, pregnant women and the elderly. Focusing uncertainty on how our actions might impact others – for example, how much they might suffer – can inoculate us against selfishness.

 

World Economic Forum articles may be republished in accordance with our Terms of Use.

Written by

Molly Crockett, Assistant Professor of Psychology, Yale University

Andreas Kappes, Lecturer, City University, London

Anne-Marie Nußberger, PhD student, Oxford University

 

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Facing Homelessness

Psychologically, the image of a house is a symbol of our self. The condition of the house in a dream (and in our waking reality) indicates the state of our psychic home. We assess: Whose space are we occupying?, What is going on in it?, and What is the condition of it?  Are things in order or cluttered?  What needs attention?

The nostalgic longing-for-home theme is archetypal and has deep psychological meaning. It resonates with poet John Newman’s thought, “The night is dark, and I am far from home.”

Indeed.  All people desire the basic human right to a secure shelter, and a sense of community and belonging.  What about people who do not have the basic human need of reliable and comfortable shelter – the homeless?

We often have difficulty acknowledging homelessness and interacting with homeless people.

R. C. Coates, author of The Street is Not a Home, suggested that the homeless represent “the shadow, the darker, the harsher side of life and humanity.” It is a side which many people find uncomfortable.

Homelessness often evokes fears of abandonment and social alienation, represents the loss of family and government support, and exemplifies the lack of autonomy. Our worst fantasies may involve the loss of our money, status and material belongings. How would I survive? Who would look after me?  How would people look at me?

Homelessness also represents society’s shadow material.  It reveals biased rigid and negative attitudes towards people, often those with mental health and addiction issues. We can be afraid of ourselves becoming homeless as well as being afraid of homeless people themselves. What are you afraid of? Are these fears based on reality and facts or on an irrational stereotype?  What and from whom did you learn about homelessness? Does one hold a belief that “they ought to just go get a job” or “giving them money enables them”? (What would $2 allow you to do?)

Stereotypical views stigmatize “those” people, often without knowing the truth about the dynamics and factors contributing to homelessness.

Homelessness is usually the result of the cumulative impact of a number of factors, rather than a single cause.  Factors include:

Structural factors are economic and societal issues that affect opportunities and social environments. Key factors include the lack of adequate income, access to affordable housing and health supports and/or the experience of discrimination.

People who are poor are frequently unable to pay for necessities such as housing, food, childcare, health care, and education and can mean a person is one illness, one accident, or one paycheck away from living on the streets. Do you know anyone in a similar position?

Systems failures occur when other systems of care and support fail, requiring vulnerable people to turn to the homelessness sector, when other mainstream services could have prevented this need.

Examples of systems failures include difficult transitions from child welfare, inadequate discharge planning for people leaving hospitals, corrections, mental health and addictions facilities, and a lack of support for immigrants, refugees and even military personnel (2% of Canadian homeless are veterans).

Individual and relational factors apply to the personal circumstances of a homeless person, and may include: traumatic events (e.g. house fire (e.g., Fort McMurray [300 homeless] or job loss), personal crisis (e.g. family break-up or domestic violence), mental health and addictions challenges (which can be both a cause and consequence of homelessness), and physical health problems or disabilities.

An Urban Institute report noted that “virtually every study shows that adverse childhood experiences (ACE) are strong predictors of homelessness.” These traumatic experiences include physical, psychological and sexual abuse, household substance abuse, domestic violence, family mental illness and the loss of a parent. In homeless under the age of 18, many indicate abuse as the primary factor for leaving their previous home.

One worldwide best practices approach to the homeless situation is using The Housing First program which is based upon these key principles:

  1. Immediate access to permanent housing with no housing readiness requirements.This involves directly helping clients locate and secure safe and permanent housing as rapidly as possible. Housing is not conditional on sobriety or abstinence or any other ‘readiness’ criteria.
  2. Offering clients choice and self-determination in housing and supports. Clients must be given choice in terms of housing options as well as the services they wish to access.
  3. A recovery orientation focuses on individual well-being, and ensures that clients have access to a range of supports that enable them to nurture and maintain social, recreational, educational, occupational and vocational activities.
  4. Individualized and client-driven supports.Individuals should be provided with “a range of treatment and support services that are voluntary, individualized, culturally-appropriate, and portable (e.g. in mental health, substance use, physical health, employment, education)” (Goering et al., 2012:12).
  5. Social and community integration. This helps people integrate into their community and requires socially supportive engagement and the opportunity to participate in meaningful activities.

Homelessness is not merely providing people will a secure living space.  It is creating a space which fosters connection and belonging, hope and sense of self – much of which have been shattered by the very factors which have contributed to homelessness.

Solving homelessness is a two-pronged approach – the provision of housing and the necessary support services – the merging of home with soul.

See http://homelesshub.ca/ for more information.

 

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Scarcity and Abundance

In the reality show, Hoarders, the accumulation of material possessions, especially with items deemed worthless (such as yogurt containers) may evoke our wonder as to possible underlying psychologically reasons for such behaviour.

When we accumulate or have difficulty in giving, we are working from a scarcity mindset. This worldview believes that there is not enough success, money, food, friendship, sale items or parking spaces. Even the first syllable (“scar”) suggests fear. It creates power and control, withholding, stinginess, forcing and the seeking of security.

Scarcity mentality believes in a win-lose situation that isolates people and establishes a ‘me-you’ or ‘us-them’ camp. A sense of comparing and competition is established. We often relate with people from a position of what we can get from them. Scarcity based people believe, “Don’t trust anyone; they’re out to get you.”

Despite having enough and knowing we are capable of getting more, there persists a wanting for more and a feeling that the good will not last. These scarcity driven attitudes are symbolic of deeply feeling that we are not good enough. We cope by taking an attitude that life is about struggle, competition, and grasping for items and experiences to boost our ego. As Gary Zukav, author of Seat of the Soul, noted, “Scarcity of self value cannot be remedied by money, recognition, affection, attention or influence.” 

The opposite of scarcity is abundance. This worldview is based upon the principle that there is enough for everyone. It works from an attitude of generosity, patience, trust, and the letting go of security and control. We deeply feel we have enough and wholeheartedly belief, “I am enough.”

Abundance relies heavily upon the principle of interconnectedness. As author of the book, The Trance of Scarcity, Victoria Castle stated, “An abundance paradigm views the world in terms of boundless potential, where there is the possibility of enough for everyone.” 

When we work from abundance, we rejoice in the successes of others, knowing that we have and will continue to receive our own successes. Stephen Covey suggested we take an attitude of believing that other people’s success “adds to … rather than detracts from … our lives.”

We learn about scarcity and abundance in childhood.If we experienced childhoods in which our physical, emotional or psychological needs were regularly unmet, we received messages that there is ‘not enough.’

Conversely, with ‘good enough’ parenting, where our needs were met to some level of healthy ego development, we learned to trust that our needs will be meet and tend to feel we are ‘good enough.’ We develop early an abundance or scarcity complex that relates to seeing the world through an optimistic or pessimistic lens.

We also need to be conscious of in what realms we are abundant. Franklin Roosevelt wisely stated, “The test of our progress is not whether we add to the abundance of those who have much. It is whether we provide enough to those who have little.”

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Moving towards a Trauma-Informed Society

Studies show that 51% of the general North American population have experienced trauma in childhood and that 98% of users of services in the public mental health system have trauma histories (e.g., car accidents, deaths, abuse, etc.).

Unresolved or untreated trauma leads to symptoms such as depression, anxiety, panic attacks, alcohol and drug dependency, reliance upon social support, missed work and unemployment, relationship dysfunction, and the increased risk for serious and chronic circulatory, digestive, musculoskeletal, respiratory and infectious diseases.

Social services (e.g., housing, medical, employment, criminal justice, etc.) workers see symptoms (e.g., missed work, mood issues, addiction, etc.) in their clients, yet need to understand them as possible adaptive responses to past trau­ma. For example, children who experience child abuse/neglect are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile, 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult, and 30% more likely to commit a violent crime.

Presuming that many clients seeking services do have a history of traumatic childhood experiences shifts systems to one that is trauma-informed. However, for what purpose?

One reason is to direct clients to trauma resources and treatment. Many people go through the system without being asked about the possibility of any past trauma/abuse. Unnamed and untreated, the person is caught in the unbeknown and bewildering cycle of traumatic adaptation.

Professor Richard Bentall suggested that “it is even more vital that services routinely question patients about their life experience.” This recommendation can be addressed by screening and assessing for past or current trauma(s) during intakes in a timely and respectful manner. For example, “How do you and your partner solve disagreements” or “Were you ever treated harshly as a child?”

Another reason is that there is a real possibility that workers unintentionally cause harm by using practices, policies and activities that are insensitive to the needs, the vulnerabilities and the triggers of traumatized clients which leads to further re-traumatization and the likelihood that people will not seek support in the future.

If trauma is the ultimate lack of relationship and void of protection, then the basis of trauma-informed practices must be the importance of relationship, and emotional and physical safety. Thus, interactions need to be based upon support, patience, reassurance, honesty and acceptance. Environments should be welcoming, calm and safe.

If trauma takes away a person’s sense of power, then rebuilding personal control and empowerment is also a key factor. People receiving services would be encouraged and given opportunities to use their voice, make choices and to self-advocate.

Understanding trauma also means recognizing that our personal traumatic experiences or the stress associated with working in human services may impact our well-being as well as our work success and satisfaction, which further impacts the people we service.

On a societal level, we can be curious about the circumstance a person is in rather than judging the circumstance. What hurts is thinking “What is wrong with this person?” versus wondering “What harmful events may have contributed to the current problems and to the way the person is coping?” And, what can we do about the prevention of such events?