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As we approach the Victoria Day weekend and longer days of sunlight we reacquaint with neighbours whom like us now tend to be outdoors more often. We may be planning outdoor projects, digging out our seasonal sport or hobby items and may even be thinking about summer vacations. Ideas and possibilities abound!

The word possibility originates from the Latin word possibilis which means ‘that which can be done.’ Its root is from posse – to be able. Interestingly, possibility is also linked to the word potent – that which is possible. Potent is the power, the ability and the capability and is historically linked to the masculine concepts of master and husband.

Having potential is having the power or strength to put into action whatever you choose. It is about having self-efficacy or a belief that you are capable and competent in doing what you set out to do. Notice, it is that which is possible, not that which is actual. So how does one move from all the ideas and possibilities to seeing them actually happen?

Regardless of gender, our inner feminine Idea-Maker side ponders, creates the ideas, makes the list and brings those wonderful feelings of hope and possibility to any situation. However, we need to complement this side with an inner masculine force which role is to put these ideas into action. We require the inner masculine Doer. 

Depending upon the task, we may need a specific Doer. For example, we may want to call upon the Engineer – as he has the ability to convert creative ideas into practical expression. You may want to tweak his energy into the Designer. If wanting to tackle your fitness or physical health, you may turn to the Athlete, calling up his personal willpower and strength. Find pictures of your inner masculine and post them in a spot you often see. Learn his wisdom. Call up his energy and qualities along side you as you tackle your ideas. 

Often when we do not do something, fear is present. Take a moment to name your fears (Recall the types of fear: death, the unknown, rejection, being alone, and lack of control). Identify what part of you is afraid and why it does not want this specific change to happen. Try to find the original source of the fear. Remember, you were not born with this fear.

Break your ideas down into separate steps. Set a goal of doing even five minutes of the idea – say, walking, tackling the weeds, or phoning people. By doing something you’ve shifted the energy away from being stuck in the feminine pondering mode to the masculine doing mode. You’ll be surprized how five minutes may turn into more! 

As you do the task keep the feminine attitude of spontaneity and of merely ‘seeing where this takes me.’ Bring the masculine back by stopping and doing a quick analysis of how the plan is going. Give yourself permission to change and tweak. Go where your energy and the flow go – often the steps don’t have to be done in order. Let go of outcome expectations and enjoy the process rather than the final product.

We are often fascinated by finding images in the shapes of clouds. Is that the profile of Harper or a rabbit? The well-known Rorschach inkblot test similarly works in this manner. How does one get from that cluster of clouds or blob of ink to an image? 

When unrecognizable images are shown to a person the conscious mind cannot logically figure them out. In order to make sense of the image the person uses ideas that emerge mainly from the unconscious in a process called projection. The author Anaïs Nin’s statement, “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are,” aptly explains projection.

Projection occurs when unconscious feelings, qualities and thoughts are placed onto external people, situations and objects. Remember, unconscious material are often qualities which the Ego does not appreciate as they do not suit who we think we are. So, rather than take ownership of these qualities, out they go. “I’m not like that!” exclaims Ego. Because projection deals with unknown and disowned parts of our self, awareness and reflection of projection can lead to great personal insights.

Let’s take an example of being at a four-way stop and observing a vehicle doing a rolling-stop before proceeding through the intersection with no chance of hitting anything or harming anyone. You immediately feel angry and are in disbelief as to how someone might do this.

In working with the projection, start with any feelings that arose. In this case, shock, resentment, and even anger. Go further by asking, “What specifically were these feelings about?” Possible replies might be, “It’s not fair!” or “How dare they not follow the rules.”

Take the projection back more. Remember, if this is shadow material, we are either over or undervaluing the quality. Ask, “Where in my life am I doing too much or not enough of this trait?” In this case, we might ask, “How do I follow the rules too much? Where am I breaking the rules and don’t admit it?” Stay with the feelings too, “Where I am feeling some unfairness? How am I being unfair to myself or to someone else?”

An unknown quality of your self has been shown to the Ego by an everyday event. The strong reaction to the incomplete stop indicates it is shadow material. If the person was comfortable with sometimes not following the rules or that sometimes life is unfair, then there would not have been such a reaction. Ego might outwardly adhere to rules, but inwardly, unconsciously, soul is saying, “Hey, that’s not so bad. Let’s try that once in a while.”

Projection also occurs around qualities deemed favourable. We can enviously admire someone for their creative ability and yet not realize our own. Taking the projection back, we ask, “Where am I creative? In what aspect of my life do I need to introduce some creative energy?”

Partners, friends, co-workers and strangers evoke reactions in us in order to increase our self-awareness. Our task then is to claim these projections. As the poet Anne Waldman stated, “Thе problem wіth уου iѕ thе problem wіth mе.” Jung stated that to “confront a person with thеіr shadow іѕ tο ѕhοw thеm thеіr οwn light.” When wе face ουr shadowy elements іt humanizes υѕ, allowing us to be more compassionate and accepting of our self and others.

Originally published Oceanside Star, January 20, 2011

We often hear the expression, ‘We are born whole.’ People strive to become ‘more whole’ and they ‘search for wholeness.’ But what exactly does being whole mean?

A person is born with a balance of all the pairs of human qualities needed, and thus, is considered whole. Examples of such opposite traits include greed and moderation, productivity and idleness, and cleanliness and dirtiness. However, early in life we learned, ‘Always be generous,’ and, ‘Never be lazy.’ We may have been told, ‘Don’t cry,’ or, ‘You’re the responsible one.’ This one-sidedness exiles opposite qualities and abilities into the unconscious while overvaluing others.

Whether deemed ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ Jung called these hidden traits the Shadow. However, these qualities are very much needed in our outer life in order to restore balance, heal our early wounds, and lessen whatever amount of suffering we have. Recall that conscious material is the thoughts, feelings and actions we are aware of. The Ego or ‘I’ is in charge of the conscious, as when we say, “I’m always punctual.” If this is what Ego believes, then the opposite quality, tardiness, is most likely found in the unconscious.

Ego tightly holds on to certain roles and qualities. Outwardly, it appears strong, when really it is weak and immature. If one is ‘never late,’ then tardiness is avoided at all costs. Ego is weak in the sense that it cannot face its own tardiness. It is not mature enough to say, “I accept that sometimes I can be late.”

Jung used the term Self as the part which oversees both conscious and unconscious material. It shows us our imbalances through dreams, body symptoms and strong emotion. These serve as symbolic feedback of how the Self sees the Ego. It’s as if a mirror is being held up to us. “Look. Here’s what’s really going on.”

For example, a dream reveals an image of a snail in which the dreamer felt frustration. The Self might be showing the Ego that deep down, on an unconscious level, feelings of frustration occur when things move slowly. The dreamer, outwardly thinking, “Everything is okay,” is inwardly and unknowingly frustrated.

 If Ego is strong enough, it accepts that it is indeed frustrated. It further asks, ‘”Where in my life am I frustrated with the progress of something?” “Where do I feel bothered by moving at a snail’s pace?”

The honest answers about how one is living may reveal qualities of greed, irresponsibility, and overcaring. It may surface feelings of loss, fear and joy. However, as the poet Rumi advised, “Welcome and entertain them all! … Meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.”

 Whether it’s personal growth, soul-searching, increasing awareness, or becoming more whole, each will occur when one encourages the Ego to meet the Self.

Special to Oceanside Star     Published: Thursday, January 13, 2011

Whether one calls it psyche, life-force, or essence, the soul is difficult to define. However, regardless of a precise definition, soul is generally agreed upon as the source of meaning in life.

Perhaps one reason the soul is difficult to define is it does not originate from one’s usual process of thinking. Rather, the soul speaks or reveals itself through images. According to Carl Jung, the soul spontaneously makes images. Thomas Moore, author of Care of the Soul, agrees, stating images are the soul’s “native language.”

Images come in the form of dreams, body gestures, intuition and metaphor. What about those sudden images or memories that appear? If your conscious mind did not purposely think them up, then the creative source turns to the soul. When we don’t pay attention to these daily soul whispers, the soul turns the volume up. It now tries to get our attention through disturbing dreams, feelings of depression, addictive behaviour and chronic body distress.

 As the gap between how you are living and how your soul wants you to live increases, so does one’s suffering. The poet Rumi stated, “What hurts the soul most is to live without tasting the water of its own essence.” 

 When we begin to take notice of our moods, gestures, dreams and body sensations, we are moving into relation with soul. A difficulty in working with the soul is the messages often appear to make little sense. This is because the soul speaks using symbols, feelings and metaphor.  

 Try working with the material in an abstract way, much like you would art, poetry or music. Try to sense the overall feeling and theme. The key is not to interpret or to solve, but to be curious and creative.

 Let’s use the image of your pet dog slowly sliding down a cliff while retrieving a stick, leaving the dog perched in a fallen tree.  Hold the image. Notice any feelings? ‘Scared, panicky.’  Any body sensations? ‘Heart pounding’. Make associations to your pet, such as ‘joy, innocence, puppy’, or its name.

 Then explore the surroundings. ‘Over the cliff, slippery slope, out on a limb, too close to the edge.’ Do the same with any actions. “Playing, fetching, sliding.”  Arrange the ideas in sentences. ‘When I play too close to the edge, my joy gets stuck.’ Or, ‘I’m asking my loyalty to fetch something in a risky situation.’

 The work now comes by asking, ‘Why is my soul sending me this image now?’ And, ‘What aspect of my Self needs a closer look at?’ In this case, ‘Where in my life am I compromising my joy? Acting risky? Out on a limb?’ Return to the feeling, ‘What risky situation is truly making me panic?’

As you tend your soul, emotions, memories and insights may or may not occur. What is important, though, is that soul has been honoured.