At this time of year, we often make some sort of goals for the year. Many people, perhaps from years of making and not achieving or sustaining such goals, opt for choosing a word (rather than a material or external goal such as more money, losing weight, etc.) which carries an intention for a personal quality (e.g., kindness, openness) or state of feeling (e.g., joy, contentment).
As witnessed clinically, the limiting belief that is most likely at the root of one achieving such intentions is, “I am not enough.”
Enoughness brings up the issue of scarcity vs abundance on both the outer and inner realms. Is our media screen big enough? Are we enough?
When we think we are lacking outwardly it often has roots in how we feel about our own self-worth or about the world. And, as we know, our underlying beliefs drive our behaviours. Become aware of what actions you do that are compensating for “I’m not good enough” thinking.
Enoughness is … abundance, value driven, from within, from soul, good enough, have enough, acceptance, gratitude, letting go, merely being, doing service, giving, and in the moment
Not enough is …. scarcity, stuff, accumulating, external, based upon who you think you are or who you present as, False self, perfection, being driven, judging and comparing, wanting, withholding, regrets, and seeking.
When we get “the wants” …
Think of the current items you are contemplating buying or attaining or upgrading. Is the current one ‘all I really need’ or “good enough”? What is the underlying reason (fear or drive) behind wanting this item or change? What will it bring or promise us? Often we are projecting our ‘lack of something’ onto the (new) item or experience. These projections may take the form of increased status, look good, feel important, impress others, a certain trait or value (environmentalist, caring, etc.). So, we are actually wanting something to give us something else we perceive we need or are lacking.
Identify your feelings when you have the wants. Often boredom, same old, self-pity or low self-worth is at play. We may be in comparison mode, replaying past wounds of ‘not good enough’, or ‘if only I had …” As Melody Beattie suggests, Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. Indeed!
Are you satisfied at the moment (when eating, watching tv, reading, walking, whatever)? Really be honest. If the answer is ‘yes,’ then you don’t need more or other (ice cream, friends, money, clothes, furniture). If ‘no’, then listen to the reasons/beliefs (e.g., not the latest model, people might not like it/me) why you are not content. Are they valid reasons? Perhaps some beliefs are getting in the way of you being okay with what you have and who you are.
What I have IS enough! There is enough.
I am enough. I am more than enough!
Some ideas adapted from:
Goodbye, Things by Fumio Sasaki
The Art of Letting Go: Living the Wisdom of Saint Francis by Richard Rohr