As we begin 2021, even if for some, a very different start of the year with the pandemic happening, we do tend to think about hopes and changes for the year. Ideas and possibilities (perhaps limited by external factors) arise.
The word possibility originates from the Latin word possibilis which means ‘that which can be done.’ Its root is from posse – to be able. Interestingly, possibility is also linked to the word potent – that which is possible. Potent is the power, the ability and the capability and is historically linked to the masculine concepts of master and husband.
Having potential is having the power or strength to put into action whatever you choose. It is about having self-efficacy or a belief that you are capable and competent in doing what you set out to do. Notice, it is that which is possible, not that which is actual. So how does one move from all the ideas and possibilities to seeing them actually happen?
Regardless of gender, our inner feminine Idea-Maker side ponders, creates the ideas, makes the list and brings those wonderful feelings of hope and possibility to any situation. However, we need to complement this side with an inner masculine force whose role is to put these ideas into action. We require the inner masculine Doer.
Depending upon the task, we may need a specific Doer. For example, we may want to call upon the Engineer – as he has the ability to convert creative ideas into practical expression. You may want to tweak his energy into the Designer. If wanting to tackle your fitness or physical health, you may turn to the Athlete, calling up his personal willpower and strength.
Find pictures of your inner masculine and post them in a spot you often see. There may even be a character from real life or fiction that you are wanting some of that trait from. Learn his wisdom. Call up his energy and qualities along side you as you tackle your ideas.
Often when we do not do something, fear is present. Take a moment to name your fears (Recall the types of fear: death, the unknown, rejection, being alone, and lack of control). Identify what part of you is afraid and why it does not want this specific change to happen. Try to find the original source of the fear. Remember, you were not born with this fear.
Also, identify any underling beliefs about the situation or yourself that might be sabotaging or blocking any motivation, starting or progress. These could sound like, “I can’t,” “I don’t deserve,” or “Someone won’t like it.” This is the deeper reason that tasks don’t get done (or even started!). Work with these – “I can!” “I do derive!” and “Does not matter, I like it!”
On a practical note, break your ideas down into separate steps. Set a goal of doing even five minutes of the idea – say, walking, tackling the weeds, or phoning people. By doing something you’ve shifted the energy away from being stuck in the feminine pondering mode to the masculine doing mode. You’ll be surprised how five minutes may turn into more!
As you do the task keep the feminine attitude of spontaneity and of merely ‘seeing where this takes me.’ Bring the masculine back by stopping and doing a quick analysis of how the plan is going. Give yourself permission to change and tweak. Go where your energy and the flow go – often the steps don’t have to be done in order. Let go of outcome expectations and enjoy the process rather than the final product.
Diane Hancox is a counsellor & presenter based in Parksville, B.C, Canada. For more information see corecounselling.ca.