Diane Hancox

Thank you for checking out my services. I am accepting clients (returning & new) for EMDR only sessions.  HOURS: Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday – mornings

As a psychotherapist of 20 years, I have seen, as have many of the trauma-informed neuroscientists and clinicians, that much of our suffering comes from deeply rooted beliefs and narratives that are 1. not true, and 2. get in the way of who we truly are and how we genuinely want to feel and make decisions.

These damning stories or scoldings (“See, you’re not good enough.” “You’re selfish.” “How dare you say no!” “I’m not safe.”) with origins decades, if not a lifetime old, and which are equally ingrained, get triggered or poked when exposed to similar situations (e.g. with authorities, family members, or similar dynamics (e.g. feeling helpless)). As we experience the latest familiar zing, possibly feeling 3, 8 or 14 years old again – the hamster gets back on the wheel or down the spiral we go – with a part of us regressing, blaming, complaining, overeating, and behaving in ways that “don’t fit the crime.”

A part of us can’t let go of the hurt, the pain, any unfairness, etc. no matter how much the adult (at times) logically recognizes the pattern, and wants to let go and move on (“I know my mom can’t change.” “I’m trying to forgive.” “I know I’m smart or good enough, but …”). Despite all the efforts, all the strategies, books and podcasts, and the hopeful, one more, maybe-this-time it will be different attempts, nothing sticks. This repetition (often with increased energy/occurrence) is there to get our attention so the unresolved cognitions (“I’m not good enough”) and feelings (shame, hurt) can be fully addressed and processed (resolved!).

The roots of these beliefs and feelings are (often) stored in unconscious ways – the memories, body symptoms, feelings, non-verbal cues, images, etc. That is why we have such a difficult time in accessing what needs to be processed for real change to happen. We need to tap into this body/emotion/imaginal part of us to heal!

So, how can we access this material?