According to John Bradshaw, “co-dependency is the most common family illness.” Co-dependence is a set of maladaptive, compulsive behaviors learned by a person in order to survive in a stressed or dysfunctional family. Dysfunctional families involve a primary stressor such as the presence of alcoholism, depression, passive/aggressiveness, actual illness or death, abuse, or the controlling […]
Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are the fences that keep us safe – something we may not have experienced in childhood. Take a moment to consider the boundaries in your childhood home? Did others respect your physical and emotional boundaries? Were you able to set boundaries with others? Most often, we were not taught to consider our needs […]
Relationship Dynamics
Why does our partner bug us after a while? Why do we tend to become ‘like my mom’ or feel like the ‘parent’ or ‘child’ in the relationship? When we are in that ‘falling in love stage,’ a part of us leaps into ‘the wild blue yonder’ – somewhere far away and exciting; a place largely based upon […]
The Brain in Love
Romantic love is associated with the early phases of a relationship – the ‘falling in love’ stage. This love is based on attraction and is characterized by euphoria, focused attention, and obsessive thinking about the person. These symptoms are attributed to increased levels of certain neurotransmitters – specifically dopamine – which have the same effect […]
Communication: Is Anyone Listening?
Often during conversations we feel we are not fully understood by the listener. Over time, this lack of being heard can lead to feelings of disconnect, ‘Why bother say anything in the first place?’ frustration, self-doubt, and arguments. It takes both a good speaker and a good listener to make meaningful connections. We can start with some […]
The Best Communication Style
Virgina Satir noted that people tend to communicate using a certain style when relating with others: Placater, Blamer, Computer and Distractor. Men tend to be Blamers and Computers; while women tend to be Placaters and Distractors. A fifth style, the Leveller, is the ideal communication style. Levellers, used by 4.5 percent of people, are congruent […]
