The concept of blame deals with not taking responsibility or ownership of our actions and intentions. Blame is an excellent defense mechanism. Whether we call it projection, denial (“I didn’t do it!”) or displacement, blame helps preserve our sense of self-esteem by avoiding awareness of our own flaws or failings (shadow material). It’s often easier […]
Individuation: Becoming Who We Truly Are
You may be familiar with author Henry David Thoreau’s saying, “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.” Thoreau metaphorically advises one to ‘be yourself,’ but what does it mean […]
Unsolicited Advice: Why We Give It & Why We Don’t Like Getting It
According to John Bradshaw, “co-dependency is the most common family illness.” Co-dependence is a set of maladaptive, compulsive behaviors learned by a person in order to survive in a stressed or dysfunctional family. We learned these behaviours from a dysfunctional family which involved a primary stressor such as the presence of alcoholism, depression, passive/aggressiveness, actual illness or death, […]
Knowing is Over-Rated
For the most part, knowing is over-rated and over used. Knowing IS necessary for being in touch with and clarifying our feelings, wants, values, purpose, what brings us meaning and what matters. We need to know these in order to set healthy boundaries. However, in other situations, needing to know often gets in the way. […]
Spring Renewal (Sorting Our “Stuff’)
The Christian term Easter is taken from the pagan Germanic fertility goddess Eostere who had a festival on the Spring Equinox. As much as we associate eggs with fertility, the Easter egg is a symbol of resurrection and new beginnings. The Easter story speaks to the archetypal pattern of the Eternal Return or the sacrifice-death-rebirth […]
Our Big and Little Lies
Carl Jung stated that “People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls.” Among the things people do is lie. A University of Massachusetts study found that sixty percent of subjects lied at least once (and an average of 2.92 times) during ten-minute recorded conversations between strangers. Why do we feel the need […]
