Wanting to control situations occurs when we are attached to a specific outcome – an outcome ego believes is best for us – because we fear what might happen if we don’t. When we try to control outcomes, we are at the same time resisting, fighting and blocking other possibilities. When we are trying to […]
The Need for Control
Perhaps the deepest need people have is for a sense of control. From an evolutionary standpoint, if we are in control of our environment, then we have a far better chance of survival. We strive to control our basic Maslowian physiological needs for food, health and shelter. Being ill or the threat of homelessness often evokes a […]
Dealing with Our Failures
The poet Alexander Pope wrote: “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” However, if making mistakes or failing is such a part of our existence, why do most of us avoid making or have difficulties when we make mistakes? One of the key components to learning is through a process called negative knowledge. As we […]
Wrestling with Our Inner Demons & Angels
The biblical story of Jacob wrestling an angel brings to mind the question – Why would someone be wrestling an angel in the first place? We gain an understanding when we realize that Jacob has been a trickster most of his life. In fact, Jacob sounds like the Hebrew words for “heel” and “deceiver.” He […]
The Stress-Disease Connection
Although most physicians agree that emotions play a role in the aggravation of existing physical disorders, it is not widely accepted that emotions actually cause the physical disorder. An entire field of science called psychoneuroimmunology studies the effects of emotions on the nervous and immunological systems functions. Our bodies get diseased when stressful feelings are […]
The Importance of Being Detached
At times we may find ourselves repeatedly talking about our adult children’s problems with friends or our partner. We may spend excessive amounts of time and energy worrying about and trying to solve someone else’s problems or may even be trying to change others. In relationships, we may feel the need to please or do […]
