Diane Hancox

Shadow & Collective Shadow

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Facing Homelessness

Psychologically, the image of a house is a symbol of our self. The condition of the house in a dream (and in our waking reality) indicates the state of our psychic home. We assess: Whose space are we occupying?, What is going on in it?, and What is the condition of it?  Are things in order or cluttered?  What needs attention?

The nostalgic longing-for-home theme is archetypal and has deep psychological meaning. It resonates with poet John Newman’s thought, “The night is dark, and I am far from home.”

Indeed.  All people desire the basic human right to a secure shelter, and a sense of community and belonging.  What about people who do not have the basic human need of reliable and comfortable shelter – the homeless?

We often have difficulty acknowledging homelessness and interacting with homeless people.

R. C. Coates, author of The Street is Not a Home, suggested that the homeless represent “the shadow, the darker, the harsher side of life and humanity.” It is a side which many people find uncomfortable.

Homelessness often evokes fears of abandonment and social alienation, represents the loss of family and government support, and exemplifies the lack of autonomy. Our worst fantasies may involve the loss of our money, status and material belongings. How would I survive? Who would look after me?  How would people look at me?

Homelessness also represents society’s shadow material.  It reveals biased rigid and negative attitudes towards people, often those with mental health and addiction issues. We can be afraid of ourselves becoming homeless as well as being afraid of homeless people themselves. What are you afraid of? Are these fears based on reality and facts or on an irrational stereotype?  What and from whom did you learn about homelessness? Does one hold a belief that “they ought to just go get a job” or “giving them money enables them”? (What would $2 allow you to do?)

Stereotypical views stigmatize “those” people, often without knowing the truth about the dynamics and factors contributing to homelessness.

Homelessness is usually the result of the cumulative impact of a number of factors, rather than a single cause.  Factors include:

Structural factors are economic and societal issues that affect opportunities and social environments. Key factors include the lack of adequate income, access to affordable housing and health supports and/or the experience of discrimination.

People who are poor are frequently unable to pay for necessities such as housing, food, childcare, health care, and education and can mean a person is one illness, one accident, or one paycheck away from living on the streets. Do you know anyone in a similar position?

Systems failures occur when other systems of care and support fail, requiring vulnerable people to turn to the homelessness sector, when other mainstream services could have prevented this need.

Examples of systems failures include difficult transitions from child welfare, inadequate discharge planning for people leaving hospitals, corrections, mental health and addictions facilities, and a lack of support for immigrants, refugees and even military personnel (2% of Canadian homeless are veterans).

Individual and relational factors apply to the personal circumstances of a homeless person, and may include: traumatic events (e.g. house fire (e.g., Fort McMurray [300 homeless] or job loss), personal crisis (e.g. family break-up or domestic violence), mental health and addictions challenges (which can be both a cause and consequence of homelessness), and physical health problems or disabilities.

An Urban Institute report noted that “virtually every study shows that adverse childhood experiences (ACE) are strong predictors of homelessness.” These traumatic experiences include physical, psychological and sexual abuse, household substance abuse, domestic violence, family mental illness and the loss of a parent. In homeless under the age of 18, many indicate abuse as the primary factor for leaving their previous home.

One worldwide best practices approach to the homeless situation is using The Housing First program which is based upon these key principles:

  1. Immediate access to permanent housing with no housing readiness requirements.This involves directly helping clients locate and secure safe and permanent housing as rapidly as possible. Housing is not conditional on sobriety or abstinence or any other ‘readiness’ criteria.
  2. Offering clients choice and self-determination in housing and supports. Clients must be given choice in terms of housing options as well as the services they wish to access.
  3. A recovery orientation focuses on individual well-being, and ensures that clients have access to a range of supports that enable them to nurture and maintain social, recreational, educational, occupational and vocational activities.
  4. Individualized and client-driven supports.Individuals should be provided with “a range of treatment and support services that are voluntary, individualized, culturally-appropriate, and portable (e.g. in mental health, substance use, physical health, employment, education)” (Goering et al., 2012:12).
  5. Social and community integration. This helps people integrate into their community and requires socially supportive engagement and the opportunity to participate in meaningful activities.

Homelessness is not merely providing people will a secure living space.  It is creating a space which fosters connection and belonging, hope and sense of self – much of which have been shattered by the very factors which have contributed to homelessness.

Solving homelessness is a two-pronged approach – the provision of housing and the necessary support services – the merging of home with soul.

See http://homelesshub.ca/ for more information.

 

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Learning from Our Projections

You may often be fascinated by finding images seen in the shapes and textures of clouds. Is that the profile of Gandhi or a rabbit? The well-known Rorschach inkblot psychological test works in this manner. How do you get from that cluster of clouds or blob of ink to a distinct image?

When unrecognizable images are shown to you, your conscious mind cannot logically figure them out. In order to make sense of the image you use ideas that emerge mainly from your unconscious in a process calledprojection.

As author Anaïs Nin succinctly noted: “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

Projection occurs when your unconscious feelings, qualities and thoughts are placed onto external people, situations and objects. Remember, unconscious material are qualities which your ego does not appreciate as they do not suit what your ego thinks you are.

Therefore, rather than take ownership of these qualities, out they go. “I’m not like that!” exclaims your ego. Because projection deals with unknown and disowned parts of yourself, awareness and reflection of projection can lead to great personal insights.

Take the example of being at a four-way stop and observing a driver doing a rolling-stop before proceeding through the intersection with no chance of hitting or harming anyone. You immediately feel angry and are in disbelief as to how someone might do this.

In working with the projection, start with any feelingsthat arise in you. In this scenario, it might be shock, resentment, and anger. Go further by asking yourself, “What specifically were these feelings about?” Possible replies to the resentment might be, “It’s not fair!” or “How dare they not follow the rules.”

Take the projection further back. Remember, if this is shadow material, you are either over or undervaluing the quality. Ask yourself, “Where in my life am I doing too much or not enough of this trait?” In this case, you might ask, “How do I follow the rules too much? Where am I breaking the rules and don’t admit it?” Pay attention to the feelings. “Where I am feeling some unfairness? How am I being unfair to myself or to someone else?”

Throughout your daily interactions with others and even with your solitary tasks, projection shows the ego unknown qualities of yourself. The strong reaction to the incomplete stop indicates it is shadow material. If your ego was comfortable with not following the rules sometimes or understood that sometimes life is unfair, then there would not have been such an intense reaction.

In the case above, your ego might outwardly adhere to rules, but inwardly, unconsciously, your soul is letting you know, “Hey, that’s not so bad. Let’s try that once in a while.”

Projection also occurs around qualities deemed favourable. You can enviously admire someone for their creative ability and yet not realize your own. Taking the projection back, ask yourself, “Where am I creative? In what aspect of my life do I need to introduce some creative energy?”

Partners, friends, co-workers and strangers evoke reactions in you in order to increase your self-awareness.Your task is to claim these projections. As the poet Anne Waldman wrote, “Thе problem wіth уου iѕ thе problem wіth mе.”

Jung stated that to “confront a person with thеіr shadow іѕ tο ѕhοw thеm thеіr οwn light.” When you face yουr shadowy elements іt humanizes you, allowing you to be more compassionate and accepting of yourself and others.

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Working with Our Projections

We are born with all the human traits; greed and generosity, productivity and idleness, and, organization and spontaneity. However, in order to be accepted into our childhood family we learned very early which qualities were valued more than others and which were perhaps, not even allowed.

We may have been told, ‘Don’t cry’ or ‘You’re the responsible one.’ This one-sided limiting attitude sends some traits deep into our unconscious while prizing others. Parts of us are now seen as ‘good’ while others (e.g., crying, being reckless) are now deemed ‘bad.’

These so-called bad traits are called shadow material. When we see these traits in others or in ourselves, we become uncomfortable, anxious and even upset. This occurs when someone ‘pushes our buttons,’ when we talk incessantly about something or someone, or when we scold ourselves for spilling something.

This intense emotional reaction that does not fit-the-crime is called projection. What underlies such a strong reaction?

Let’s take the example of being at a four-way stop and observing a driver doing a rolling-stop before proceeding safely through the intersection. You immediately feel agitated and are in disbelief as to how someone might do this. Do what? What exactly are we upset about?

In this scenario, we might feel shock, resentment and anger. We may think, “How dare they not follow the rules” or “That’s not fair!”

Ah, now we’re getting somewhere. Remember, if this is shadow material, we are reacting to a trait that we do not accept. If we were truly comfortable with sometimes not following the rules or understood that sometimes life is unfair, then there would not have been such an intense reaction.

We can go further here. Ask yourself, “How do I follow the rules too much? Where am I breaking the rules and don’t admit it?” We might outwardly adhere to rules, but inwardly, something inside us (our soul) is letting us know, “Hey, that’s not so bad. Let’s try that once in a while.”

We can also project strong favourable emotions onto others. For example, we may enviously admire someone for their creativity and yet not realize our own. In this case, we ask, “Where am I creative? Where in my life do I need to introduce some creative energy?”

What bothers us about someone is actually a quality we have not fully owned. When we face our shadow traits, it allows us to be more compassionate and accepting of our self and others.

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Wrestling with Our Inner Demons & Angels

The biblical story of Jacob wrestling an angel brings to mind the question – Why would someone be wrestling an angel in the first place?

We gain an understanding when we realize that Jacob has been a trickster most of his life. In fact, Jacob sounds like the Hebrew words for “heel” and “deceiver.” He tricked his brother, Esau, out of his birthright, and tricked his father out of Esau’s rightful blessing. Jacob later tricked his father-in-law, Laban, out of more than his share of their flocks.

Although Jacob fled his brother’s wrath and prospered, he was always aware that the unresolved issues with his brother would have to be addressed. As he returned to his familial land, he received word that Esau was coming to meet him with an army of men. Jacob sent his family and servants across the river for safety, and prepared for the dreaded yet necessary meeting.

Genesis 32 (NLT) stated: “Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, ‘Let me go, for the day is breaking.’ But Jacob said, ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me.’

So he said to him, ‘What is your name?’ And he said, ‘Jacob.’ Then he said, ‘You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed.’ Then Jacob asked him, ‘Please tell me your name.’ But he said, ‘Why is it that you ask my name?’ And there he blessed him.”

The confusion of pronouns makes it difficult to tell who is doing and saying what to whom. In fact, it is because Jacob is wrestling with himself – confronting his own guilt and anxiety for past actions. He could have stayed away and defended his former trickster ways to his brother, as was his previous ways. Ego would rather ignore repressed and deemed ‘bad’ parts of us (‘I don’t lie.’), however; ‘blessings’ come when we actually acknowledge our range of human traits.

Jacob is now able to confront his shadow traits (the parts that deceive, that need personal wealth and which Ego strongly defends). Having wrestled with the angel of his own conscience, Jacob is transformed.  His name changes from Jacob (the ‘supplanter’) to Israel, which means ‘the one who struggles with God.’

The line “I will not let you go unless you bless me,” tells the importance of facing our shadow work and communicating with our inner god – our true selves. As Jung noted, “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” We will eventually have to face and wrestle with our demons – our angel shadow material – if we are to become more whole and human.

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Our Inner Masculine & Feminine Energy

All people contain both masculine and feminine qualities. Masculine traits include planning, order, accomplishments, competition and linear thinking. Feminine qualities include spontaneity, non-competiveness, intuition and looking relationally at situations.

As children we learned, mostly by our parents, to act, believe and feel based upon the values given to feminine and masculine qualities. We were taught to overvalue and undervalue certain traits in ourselves in order to have our needs meet. For example, if a girl was rewarded for being ‘just like dad’ she may tend to admire the intellect, be goal-orientated, and have repressed emotions.

We also were modeled by our parents and other adults as to how men and women (or how masculine and feminine) relate in relationships. Gender roles and expectations were defined and played out, again reinforcing what men and women ‘do’ in relationships.

Difficulties exist when qualities become imbalanced and when gender roles remain limited. In society, we see this imbalance when the masculine sets forth and discovers without the feminine relationship trait. This leads to the invasions of lands, the building of structures, and medical research which lack the consideration of nature and peoples involved.

Individually, we may still be trapped in a limiting role of what a man or woman is, as well as expecting a similarly limiting role for others (e.g., men are supposed to be …). We may become the agreeable, smiling girl or the stoic, rescuing boy when triggered by certain situations or people.

On an ever deeper level, as Jung explained, “Every man carries within him the eternal image of woman [termed anima]. The same is true of the woman: she too has her inborn image of man [animus].” The concepts of anima and animus are very complex, yet, awareness of the developmental stage of our inner partner is key to understanding many aspects of our selves, including how we choose intimate partners.

Take a moment to reflect to what degree you value certain masculine and feminine traits. What messages were given to you as to how men and women are to behave in relationships? Do we feel men are to be ‘providers’ and ‘make us laugh’? Are women to be ‘good-looking’ and ‘caring’?

When our imbalances are noted, we can consciously integrate those qualities which have been previously downplayed or choose to enhance others. As we become more balanced we heal our psychic gender-splitting and free ourselves from limiting and less mature ways of being and relating. Similarly, we offer the same growth for our partners, friends and others.

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What Lurks in Your Shadow?

We are born whole, with all the pairs of human traits such as greed and generosity, productivity and idleness, and with the capacity to feel the range of emotions, from grief to joy. However, in order to be accepted and have our basic childhood needs met we learned very early which qualities were valued and which were unacceptable.

We may have been told, ‘Don’t cry’ or ‘You’re the responsible one.’ This one-sided attitude splits the pairs of opposite traits, exiling some qualities, abilities and feelings into the unconscious while overvaluing others. Parts of us, now deemed ‘bad,’ were repressed into the unconscious becoming shadow material.

The shadow is composed of all the traits or qualities that we have difficulty admitting we have. When we see these traits in others or in ourselves, we become uncomfortable, anxious and even fearful. We then use a number of defense mechanisms to avoid taking ownership of these traits.

One way in which we avoid owning our shadow material is by placing it onto others through a process called projection. Projection occurs when unconscious feelings, qualities and thoughts are placed onto external people, situations and objects.

Remember, unconscious material are qualities which our ego does not appreciate as they do not suit what our ego thinks we are. For example, if we value a very strong work ethic then we may find ourselves repeatedly complaining about a co-worker’s lack of dedication.

We have difficulties owning our shadow material. Ego exclaims, “I’m not like that!” and out that quality goes, placed onto others. What bothers us about someone is actually a quality we have not fully owned. As Jung noted, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

Outwardly, our egos confidently uphold our punctuality; however, the bothered reaction shows that our egos are in fact not strong enough to face (in this case) its own tardiness. We are not mature enough to say, “I accept that sometimes I can be late.” Further, the projection lets us know, “Hey, that’s not so bad. Let’s try that once in a while.”

Projection also occurs around qualities deemed favourable. We can enviously admire someone for his or her creative ability and yet not realize our own. Taking the projection back, we ask, “Where am I creative? In what aspect of my life do I need to introduce some creative energy?”

Partners, friends, co-workers and strangers evoke reactions in us in order to increase our self-awareness. Our task is to claim these projections. As the poet Anne Waldman wrote, “Thе problem wіth уοu iѕ thе problem wіth mе.”